What in the name of visser three is going on here?
by Thelastgreatrocker18
Summary: A series of funny sketches about the animorphs. Including Tobias getting crushed by Rachel, Ax getting in trouble at school, an aukward moment with a port o potty and Marco morphing into Mr. Universe.
1. Chapter 1

"Looks like he got up on the wrong side of the bed." Marco said with a chuckle as the other animorphs glared at him. Tobias' crushed form lay on Rachel's bed where the night before she had, crushed him.

"Marco! How can you joke at a situation like this?" Cassie asked him angrily, Marco grinned.

"Come on Cass, there is literally no better moment than this too make a joke. I mean, I could make the classic about a bird eating a pie..."

"Marco!" Jake yelled as Marco continued laughing.

"Or I could make a joke about Rachel's fat butocks..."

"Could you please just..." Cassie started to say.

"Or I could say that Tobias 'got the bird'. Which is an old mobster term for..."

"Just stop talking."

"Or I could."

"Shut up!" The animorphs all screamed in unison, waking up all of Rachel's sisters.

* * *

"Ax, why have you been skipping class so much lately?" The principal asked Ax in his office. Ax stared at his feet nervously.

"Well..um...I have to leave class every two hours for...um..reasons." Ax explained as he lifted his fingers up to form quotation marks. The principal sighed.

"And why did you cause such a mess in the cafeteria today?" The principal asked, Ax sighed.

"Well that was because I..."

"Ax, are you smoking?" The principal asked, Ax gulped as he put his cigarette out on his knee."

"These guys outside said it was really cool." Ax said sheepishly, the principal's face immediately changed into a dark red as steamed started shooting out of his ears.

"AX!" The principal screamed.

* * *

"Marco, why did you just morph into mr. universe?" Rachel asked, Marco immediately flexed his now enormous muscles.

"I think the question you should ask is, why didn't I morph into him."


	2. Chapter 2

"Rachel, please take me back!" Tobias cried as he stood underneath Rachel's window holding up a boombox. Rachel peeked her head out of the window and gasped at what she saw.

"Holy hell Tobias, of course i'll take you back, this is so romantic that I...What a second, is that the nine inch nails hit 'I wanna f**k you like an animal?"

"Yeah, i'm not very good at this." Tobias replied sheepishly.

* * *

"Now Elfangor, you shall be destroyed by my incredible morph and..." Visser three started to say, before he was interrupted by a toilet flushing. The yeerks, the andalite, and the animorphs all turned around to see a construction worker walking out of a port o potty. The construction working zips up his fly and looks at all the aliens staring at him.

"Ummm, this is kinda aukward."

* * *

"In Andalite Russia, smell feet you." Ax said with a smile, the rest of the animorphs immediately turned their heads to face him.

"What?"


	3. Chapter 3

"Awesome, we got wonder twin powers as well as our Animorph powers!" Marco cheered along with Rachel, who were the only two people left after the other went away to fight of yet another Yeerk invasion thing.

"Okay, let's show the guys during the mission, you ready?" Rachel asked as she pulled her hand into the air, Marco smiled as he put his ring against hers.

"Wonder twin powers, activate!" They both said together.

"Form of, a bulldozer!" Rachel yelled as she transformed, she then started to head off but turned to Marco.

"Are you coming?" She asked, Marco smiled.

"Yeah, i'll catch up with you later!" Marco called as Rachel drove away.

"Shape of, Tobias' condom." Marco whispered, as he transformed he hopped into Rachel's purse.

"And now we play the waiting game."

* * *

"Hey Tobias, guess what!" General dickface asked, Tobias sighed.

"What is it General dickface?" Tobias asked, the General continued his grin.

"I'm taking questions for the readers of this story and asking them to you animorph freaks. It's gonna be fun, and the author promised that he'd start paying me more than the standard wage for his original characters and allow me to move out of the secret cellar underneath his bed." General dickface explained, Tobias sighed.

"What does he pays his OC's now?" Tobias asked, General dickface continued to smile.

"He pays us in kind words, such as 'you bastards, i'm gonna murder you if you ever breathe near me again' or 'Hey, fuck off douchebags, i'm trying to wipe my butt with this kleenex soaked with your tears.', he's very kind to us."


	4. Chapter 4

"Okay animorphs, for this next mission we have to morph into something that can survive a nuclear bomb." Jake said to the animorphs. The kids, and alien, smiled as they began morphing.

_5 minutes later_

"Okay, let's see. Rachel, Ax, Cassie, and myself morphed into cockroaches." Jake noted as he looked around.

"Marco appears to have morphed into some old guy who..."

"I'm Keith Richards." Marco said proudly, Jake sighed.

"Okay, and Tobias' morphed into..."

"Hey! A twinkie!" Marco exclaimed as he picked up the twinkie and brought it inside his mouth.

"Marco wait! That twinkie is me, Tobias! Argh!" Tobias howled as Marco took a bite out of the twinkie. Marco swallowed.

"Mmmm, Tobias twinkie." Marco said to himself as he finished the rest of the twinkie, afterward he looked at the animorphs.

"What is it, is there something on my face?" Marco asked.

* * *

"Animophs assemble, hahahahah, die yeerks die!" Jake yelled from his straight jacket in the white room, Tobias just shrugged as he walked out of the room to his lovely assistant and wife, Cassie. (who did you think it would be)

"Well, what's tthe news." Cassie asked, Tobias just sighed.

"Poor fellow, he thinks he's a superhero fighting off our alien invasion." Tobias said, Cassie looked at him with a confused look.

"What did you just say?"

* * *

"So Jake, how do you tell if a person has a yeerk in their head?" Rachel asked, Jake smiled and walked up to a random person.

"Well, you go behind a person, you lift up the hair on the back of their head and..."

pffft

"You look for the yeerk's behind, sometimes it farts."

* * *

"Marco! You just ate my boyfriend!" Rachel yelled angrily, Marco grinned.

"So, does that mean you're single?"


	5. Chapter 5

"Sometimes, when i'm home alone at night. I cut myself with Tobias's hawk claws just to know i'm alive." Rachel said with great despair to Marco, who had morphed into the school counsellor so that Rachel could talk about her obvious emotional problems.

"THAT'S WHY YOU DO IT! I THOUGHT IT WAS SOME KIND OF KINKY SEX THING!" Tobias screamed from beside Rachel in his human morph.

* * *

"Elphangor never told you about you're father did he?" Visser Three said to Tobias who stared at him in confusion from the other side of the obviously unsafe mechanical gurder they were currently having an epic battle on.

"How could he? I only talked him for like fifteen seconds, that's barely enough time to know his name and..."

"That's because I am your father." Visser three spoke in a dramatic voice that caused a big grin to appear on Tobias' face as he started running towards Visser three.

"Daddy!" Tobias yelled in his happiness as he pounced on his father to give him a hug.

* * *

"Yesterday I went to a nude beach with the morph of the fattest and most unappealing guy I could find." Rachel said at the animorphs meeting.

"Well, why didn't you use my morph? I mean, you acquired me yesterday during that mission." Marco said, Rachel only turned her head and frowned at him.

"I did."

* * *

"You know that the world is going to end when the most popular video on youtube is a cat licking itself for ten minutes." Rachel said as she turned on her computer.

"Nine minutes 59 seconds. Damn, we're getting close."

* * *

If your mother was involved in a fatal car crash That killed three people Where the driver was drunk and on drugs And where she wasn't wearing a seat belt People would say she was a dumbass who had it coming But just because Lady Di was a princess She gets treated like royalty!

Lady Died - Dave Brockie Experience


End file.
